I must sadly report that my dearest friend, my 17in MacBook Pro, has been taken seriously ill. Apparently her lil heart just couldn't take it anymore, although I don't know why seeing as she is still a baby at 2 yrs old. She's been shipped off to Dr. Apple in hopes that she will return better than ever in a week and keep your fingers crossed that it has something to do with the recall so I don't end up with an outrageous bill. This wasn't quite the way I envisioned my start to this new year and most importantly the new decade. I have a lot planned and its finally time to start putting all my plans into motion this year which will certainly change my life in the coming decade.
This whole scenario has had me thinking of Carrie Bradshaw circa season 4 when her lil black MacBook went kaput and Aidan rushed out to surprise her with a new one. What a gem of a man that Aidan was! Gem or not, Carrie wasn't as thrilled with the idea of starting fresh with a new computer. Entering into a new year is kind of like that. Carrie wasn't ready to give up what was comfortable to her. I don't blame her as I face the same fear, as most of us do year after year. I recognize that this year is quite different from ones past for I find myself facing many uncertain circumstances. Thankfully its mostly good stuff that is making me excited about the adventures I am about to embark on, but nonetheless its hard to face some things head on. Its hard to leave the comfortable behind and jump into something uncomfortable. If the last 2 weeks have taught me anything, its that you can't ignore things that are uncomfortable and hard in hopes that they will just go away. News flash - they don't go away and they don't become less hard.
As a result I've decided that this year, for me, is about facing fear. Yes, I might fail. Yes, my heart might get broken. Yes, there is a possibility that things might not turn out exactly how I think they will. Or you know what? Maybe it won't be like that at all. Maybe I'll succeed beyond measure. Maybe for once there will be no more broken hearts. Maybe everything will turn out just the way I've pictured it and then some. With all the uncertainties out there in the world I know one thing for sure - none of that matters. Life isn't about the "what if's." I'm sick of fantasizing about what if this or what if that. 2010 is the year to do it - the year to make it happen. Take a chance, risk it all. It will be worth it, just watch.
xx Lolita
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